Birth

Today is the day of my birth.

Don't worry, this isn't some sort of veiled attempt to prod others into free meals or the like. It is a chance to be reborn... so to speak.

When I was in early college I made a rather lame attempt to start a Christian speed metal band called, "The Metaphorical Womb Escape". The band never got off the ground. All I brought to the table were my rather snug trousers, a tambourine, and the greatest Christian speed metal band name of all time.

And where does one conjure up such an inspired name you ask? Well the answer is simple. I, unlike so many others, can recount the details of my own birth. When you can recall the exact feeling and texture of your own issuance - band names become easy. (I have a list of 100 band names that rhyme with daffodil.) I have many times told this birth story to friends and family but each time it seems too powerful a thing for many of them. So, for the sake of this venue, I'll describe it this way:

Birth to me was like the scene in the Wizard of Oz when Dorthy steps out of the dark, lifeless, gray, confines of her recently twister transported home place into the warmth and light and color of Oz. But in reverse. For me the uterus was lined with happiness, convenience, food and drink a plenty. In there... for that time... I was all of the members of the lollipop guild... and the mayor... and Glinda.

But we can't live there forever can we. We can't stay. And that is ok. Birth is equal to growth - literally and figuratively. This is why birth days are so very important. The birthday is a celebration of our lives and also the celebration of possibilities. It is for this reason, every year on the day of my birth, I participate in my own self induced "womb escape".

I perform the womb escape because it draws me closer to the possibilities that lay before me. To grapple with mortality.

So here's what I do:
1. Put on tight fitting jogging costume.
2. Take out all the seats of the minivan.
3. Turn on the van and all heat settings on high.
4. Gather sleeping bag and 50' of fire hose.
5. Fill van up with empty card board boxes and stuffed animals.
6. Wrap myself with fire hose.
7. Put sleeping bag into van - underneath boxes and animals.
8. Climb into sleeping bag, close van door using bit of twine, and tape bag shut from inside
9. Wait until it feels right... then escape.

This process often takes 2-5 hours... which is similar to the time an actual birth takes. One reason that is takes so long is that I use a high end sleeping bag. Another is that I'm not allowed to exit the taped end.

Here is the point. This womb escape is my way of keeping it together. It is my way of remembering the possibilities of this life. For some people birthdays are sad... for me... they are full.