A La Carte Orthodontics?

"Thanks for coming in today"

"It is our pleasure Doc... you've got a very nice office here"

"Well I've been in practice for 20 years and things have gone well over that time so thank you for that fine complement"

"You're welcome... we're looking forward to hearing from you about our daughters potential soiree into orthodontia and what the options are for her."

"Well we've got some fine results here from our complimentary screening that occurred last month where we took molds, x-rays, and did a through credit check"

"Great what did you come up with"

"Well her #6 cannine has got an oblique orientation and #19/#20 are doing what I like to call the the lower-left molar shuffle...ha....... so..... you see we're going to have to intercept."

"Ok... what does all that mean?"

"The good news is that for the most part she is in great shape and only needs a minor amount of work in Phase I in order to end up with a beautiful smile"

"Oh heavens that is wonderful news... we were concerned with my history of tooth filing and my wife's preoccupation with tooth spacing that we'd have to be very aggressive."

"That certainly won't be necessary at this point... please put your mind at ease... you have a beautiful daughter, she is going to have a wonderful smile for all the school pictures and staged web photos... this is going to work out very well."

"I have to tell you this is better news that we had expected, what is the next step"

"The next step is to bring her in for her Phase I work-up and I would say in a few months we can adjust the a fore mentioned mounds of enamel encased treasure chests...."

"Hugh?"

"Oh I mean adjust HER TEETH and we'll have her done with her Phase I's in no time."

"Well ok that seems like a reasonable course. What does Phase I cost?"

"We can do everything for Phase I for 3000."

"Wow... 3K... that is a lot"

"Well when your talking about your face most people aren't looking for a great deal"

"I suppose so. Are there other Phases that we need to be aware of?"

"Sometimes our patients only need Phase I work but for the 99.7% that require additional Phasing we typically go to four full Phases"

"Four Phases?"

"Yes that is the most common scenario that we encounter here. Each phase is 3000 so at the end of the day you're talking about 12000 give or take"

"12,000 dollars!?!?"

"Euros"

"I thought you said she just needed a little tweaking and she would be fine! That she would have a beatiful smile! Have you ever been to Europe? They would never imagine what you're suggesting and the're basically attractive. Why would I pay 18 grand for my kids teeth when she just needs a little adjustment? Isn't there some sort of A La Carte pricing for kids that don't need all the work?"

"No there isn't"

"If I took my car in for an oil change I don't pay the same as if I needed a new engine right?"

"That isn't a very good example because your car isn't the face that you have to represent yourself to the world for all of your days is it?"

"Listen I don't understand how I pay the same amount for my kid as the guy that has been drinking Coke for twenty years through a straw and his teeth are mush and he needs titanium screws drilled into his head that are coated with a propitiatory alloy mined in space. I just don't get it."

"Well folks it has been a real pleasure meeting with you today... I've got to run... I've got a tee time shortly on the island that I own just off the coast of Honduras and the jet is standing by. Please let me know how you like to proceed"

"So that's it? We pay you or no happy face?"

"That's pretty much it"